11:30 am. As solat tahajjud began this morning ,my routine went haywire.there are gaps of 2-3 hours only between the prayers from Zuhr until Fajr.
Sleeping : after Fajr till 11:00
Zuhr : at mosque (stay for iktikaf until teraweeh)
Asr : at mosque (stay iktikaf)
Iftar /Maghrib/Isya : at mosque
Teraweeh : at mosque ( go back after)
Dinner: after teraweeh(at hotel)10:00-12:00
Solat Tahajjud: at mosque (ends 02:00)
Sahur : wherever(brought the food in case time too short to go back)
Fajr : at mosque
The crowd is getting bigger and crazier. But alhamdulillah Allah make it easy for us all. I need to stay focused and alerted at all times. The weather was hot since early in the morning. Was denied access to many entrances so ended up at the new expansion again. Even here was constantly being told off to go here and there. We just followed because they have plan for us so everyone can pray peacefully when the time comes. I understand that now and trust them. There’s no point to argue ,everyone has started to lose the patience.
For Asr, I was asked to go up to the rooftop. This is a place on top of the new expansion area. The praying area has roof as well ;it’s like a big pagola with a glass roof. Hot for now but later will be okay as the night breeze blows in. So I stayed despite the burning heat.
I am okay alhamdulillah. The words alone can’t describe how grateful I am to be here. My wife spent sleepless nights preparing for this DIY trip so thank you my dear. I just could not endure the agony of constant worry of my health and my mind to be fit and ready for this journey.
Iftar on this rooftop was even simpler— just a pack of tamar only nothing else. Alhamdulillah and I filled up two cups of zamzam water ; that’s it. My iftar was done. The prayers went on and by 10 pm we finished.
The walk back was not that easy. I got lost and with millions of people rushing home I didn’t see my way very well. Occasionally, I stopped as my leg started to give up. But I needed to get home fast. After much of the agonising walk I got to the hotel. Late. It’s 11:20 pm and by 12 have to head out again. I didn’t make it. Dinner was nasi with serunding, sambal nyet and telor rebus; I was stuffed pretty good. By the time I stepped out it was12:15 and the prayers will start in 15 mins. I was late again. My walk seemed to pace well but ended up behind the ladies all the time. Uurggh I knew this thong couldn’t be trusted. It kept slipping away on the marble floor slowing me down. The guard started to shut my entrances up. One by one and I ran helplessly trying to beat the time. I felt tired and breathless. This is how it feels trying to seek something —- close but yet too far—- I am here already but still unable to seek Your rahmah. In the midst of the millions of people ,I dropped to the floor and cried. Imam Sudais was already in the first rakaat and I couldn’t find my place.
“Haj Haj tariq! Tariq! Giddank……” the police yelled for me to move.
I moved and settled with a batch of people just outside the entrance. Not a good place but can do for now. By the second prayer the police shooed us away to make way for some dignitaries. We scattered nearby. For the first time I “worked hard” to do ibadah. All my life I pray and go to surau or read quran at my leisure ; never ran breathlessly to catch a prayer. The best lesson is by doing—- I did mention that to my students once.
May Allah accept all of our deeds,aameen.
