3:08 am. I was up and looking at the time I’ve got plenty of it to recover myself. Taking time stretching and thinking about home and my plants. Some may have died, fallen over or dried up.hopefully they’ll reach out and find the sunshine. I hope their leaves will glisten and keep shooting new ones. I planted caladiums , philodendrons, monsteras, orchids, roses and a little bit of others. the roses might not make it through without care. The orchids are stubborn but they are much more resilient than the others. I will see them again InsyAllah.
You know you are old when you start to care for little things in life. Things that we took it for granted before. Maybe I am tired of the more complicated stuff because it drains my energy out. Watching TV nowadays is complicated. Gone were the days when you just push the button and turn the dial. Now you have to install the apps, hook up with the internet, subscribe and pay some shit. But because I love watching TV ( my hobby from sekolah rendah lagi hahaha) it’s the only thing I keep up.sometime I got stuck and frustrated when that little worm started dancing on the TV screen— it’s time to get help. And if the children are busy the worm will be dancing for a few days. Technology sucks.
Being old and retired is a wonderful thing. I don’t regret “ leaving life”— leaving everything perceived important in life such as work, luxury things, sports, having to get a new car every a few years, keep renovating your house, buying lands or getting rich. I have enough and want to live simple— do gardening and watch Netflix! That’s all.
Some people want me to remember death and prepare for it. If I go to surau all I will hear is about death and dying. Have we ever forgotten death? Even in a slightest moment ? NO. It is like a mountain in your backyard you would not miss it. Death is inevitable it will come to you one way or another. I think we should promote life and let use the time we have to experience life the way we always wanted.
However, fear lingers every now and then.The most thing I fear is to lose my senses. Unable to enjoy things I used to have or do like taste buds, strong vision, good run or laughing. I don’t remember when was the last time I’ve got a good laugh . Laughing until your eyes teared. No because old people don’t laugh out loud they can only laugh through whatsapp message by “LOL”.
At 2:30 a power outage occurred on the first floor.People spilled over to the mataf area and clogged the pathways.where ever I sat people came to ask money. Maybe I looked like a rich person or there is a label on my back that says “scam me I have money “. Moved myself several time to escape but did not look good. Even the most unlikely person asked money. I guess many people have run out of money. So annoying, I gave a few riyals to this Bangla to fill up my zamzam bottle. He didn’t have to ask, I wanted help.
By Asr, there was no good spot to settle. I prayed at mataaf area on the first floor and left.
