The afternoon flight to KK was delayed again and again until finally we took off 40 mins later. But it’s okay I have nothing to chase maybe my daughter Aqeelah will be crossed for waiting. The Americano coffee has started to kick in. I don’t take coffee in the afternoon but today I wanted to taste the one they have at the premium lounge. Not a good decision as it hyped up my heart to an active mode. I couldn’t sleep. The flight will take 2 hours and 35 mins: it will be a long journey. The pretty stewardess started to come around for those who pre- ordered the food. It smells delicious but even if we ordered one I just could not enjoy it. I have my vanilla buns in case I need food but for now I am good.
This AirAsia plane is too cramped down, crowded and the leg room is nil.but I am in it so complaining is not very healthy.The pre-flight rituals were smooth despite our luggage was 0.5 kilo over the limit. And the damn machine wouldn’t move a bit until we withdrew a couple of items. There was no point arguing like before for just a small margin of overweight. Sometimes we prefer to follow machines than people.
Our destination is Kundasang, where my daughter is a doctor at a clinic there. To say that we are proud of her achievements is an understatement. We saw her grew up alongside our busy life and felt so lucky to have her as a daughter,a company. In her eyes, I saw a long path into an interesting future. As a child she was the song that I played when feeling down. But I don’t know that I have done enough as a father. Maybe some promises were never met or good behaviour was not complemented well enough. I tried. Now that she is an adult with an amazing career, I am struggling to catch up. This little trip is to find my losing touch if I could patch up a few things.
As a new civil servant, she has been facing “ some teething problems “. Your expectations are higher than the reality. The reality in civil services are governed by rules and procedures. For some reasons they are there to “protect civil servants “ and making sure smooth execution of the operations. But for the young ones they are just “red tapes” that hinder productivity. I was there, they called me “penyapu baharu” but I never let that name go away until my retirement. I felt I could do much better every time.
In civil service, nothing changes for the better or worse. The only changes are the games they played. To be successful you must know how to play “The game” well. There is a long description of what “the game” is but you will know when the time comes. At the end of my career, I lost in this game. Most of the time , in my career, I was in command. I chose where to go and what to do. Along the way, I got confused and messed up my priorities. It was too late to catch up “the new game” and with a heavy heart I called it quit. I opted for an early retirement.
I don’t know what to tell my daughter about her predicaments. I guess stay focused and swallow whatever bitterness comes in the way.
Hope she will wipe off all the frustrations from her face, put a smile and march on. Life is difficult no matter how the word is spelled.
When I reminisce my life in the civil service , I mainly saw the glittering eyes of my students. When I closed that classroom door, it was them and me. I told my unfunny jokes and they laughed as if I was the best comedian in the world. Out of 30 years of teaching , i received only one regret from a student. He wished he did not take CS for the course has no value in his career. I was sad to read that comment but wished him good luck anyway. Ungrateful people have no luck sometimes.
Then we went through heavy traffics to a waterfront seafood place and everything just fell into the right place. This is Sabah bah!
